Steven

In Isaiah 55, God Most High speaks to us: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Let these be words of encouragement beloved. The ways of this difficult journey with our dear Valerie and the thoughts we have along the way are not the same as those of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Consider our ancient brother Steven. Chosen by the original apostles of our Lord to manage the distribution of material needs for Greek speaking widows, God gave him miraculous powers to bear witness to all Greek speaking Jews.

Like Jesus, he was a threat to the establishment. Like Jesus, he was brought to a trial filled with false witnesses. Like Jesus, he was found guilty of blasphemy and was executed. Like Jesus, before he died he prayed to ask forgiveness for those who stoned him.

Saul of Tarsus was there, giving approval to Steven's death. As Saint Augustine once said, "if Steven had not prayed, the church would not have had Paul."

Acts 7:55 has to be one of the most amazing statements in the entire Bible. When Jesus left Earth after the resurrection, he was seated at the right hand of God.

In this verse, however, we see Him standing to honor Steven's life on Earth.

What shall we say then. Why did God take Enoch and Elisha from Earth before they even died? Why did God raise Lazarous from the dead? Why did God allow his honored servant Steven to be brutally stoned to death? Why hasn't God ripped this disease from my daughter's body?

The answer to all our why's is found in The Letter to the Hebrews. Speaking of the suffering of God's choice Old Testament servants, we read; "Others were tortured, faced jeers and floggings, were chained in prison, were sawn in two, were put to death by the sword, were destitute, persecuted and mistreated. The world was not worthy of them.

These were all commended for their faith. They have come to the New Jerusalem, the city of The Living God. They have joined thousands and thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in Heaven.

And so we have again come back to the beginning. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

So many of God's choice servants have endured great suffering in this life. I know that they will rightfully occupy a position of greater honor for all eternity.

Chris' mom Margaret went back to Denver on Sunday. Char flew into town from Denver on Tuesday. Julie is due in from San Luis Obispo today.

We had an appointment Tuesday with Tony Reid and Phil Saylor from UCSD Moores Cancer Center. Both are excellent doctors but I think we are leaning toward staying with Dr. Lenz and Taleen, his Nurse Practitioner at USC Norris.

Tony Reid recommended that we stay the course with systemic chemo only. He felt that targeted treatment using SIR Spheres, Chemo Embolization, or HIAC were too risky and would require a long period where Avastin could not be used. He is also concerned with the risk of fungal infections while Val is on TPN.

I am not sure Valerie wants to follow his advice. She wants to consult with Dr. Rose to get his read on these conflicting opinions.

Good news is that the ascites has been held down with 200 mg of Spirolactin dieuretic. Bad news is that this can add to dehydration. Val is dehydrated and must drink more water. We are also going to ask Optioncare to consider IV saline to get ahead of the problem.

More good news. Val's eyes have been quite white for the last few days. This is a good visual indicator of overall liver function.

Val is not eating much. She thinks she is but she is not. We need a plan to deal with this reality. We just don't have it yet. Even with IV TPN, Val is mal-nourished.

Another problem is managing meds. There are so many that it is easy to get out of step.

The bottom line is we need a better and more militaristic way of managing the McCrea family and all of these needs mentioned here. Today, we put together a logsheet that will help if we use it.

Someone asked me what is Valerie's biggest problem. The answer is stress. It is so difficult to deal with the three boys while trying to keep life on a somewhat even keel.

Next Monday is Chemo 31 at USC. We are still facing the decision of when to do local treatment and what treatment to use. This affects our chemo protocol.

Jeff, Jan, and their family are coming from Alabama on March 24th. Jeff is a Lt Colonel in the Air Force and is being sent to the Korean Peninsula in June for a one year asiignment as an F16 squadron Commander.

April 2nd, Val is scheduled for a stent change with Dr. Lo at Cedars Sinai.

Pray for God's wisdom as we make all decisions. To Him be all glory and honor. In Him we live and move and have our being.

Godspeed Beloved