Fight the Good Fight

Val brings light into our lives and we continue to fight the good fight knowing that God Most High is with us every step of the way.

Thing are not always as they seem, beloved. When I look at Val through the eyes of faith, I see a beautiful, strong, and courageous warrior ready to fight the enemy. And great victories await us in 2007. I am excited as I watch and wait what miracles Jesus has in store for us.

I waited for the Lord on High. I waited and He heard my cry.

Cancer is a good news bad news demon. Sometimes it helps me to visualize a balance scale. I put the good news on one side and the bad news on the other. So lets do just that together.

The CT Scan; Pulmonary (lungs): no change in nodules that have been there from the beginning. Good news. Lymph nodes: normal. no enlargement. Good news. Liver and spleen: Slight increase in size of large tumor. More smaller lesions noted but these may be caused by stent infection. Spleen slightly enlarged. Abdominal fluid present. Bad news.

Blood tests: all good news. Bilirubin down. Liver enzymes down. White blood cell count dropping (no infection).

Val did require two units of whole blood this week to bring up a low hemoglobin level. During the 2nd unit, her fever spiked to 103F due to an allergic reaction.

Pain management and fatigue continue to challenge us. Val's weight is also too low at 115.

Tuesday night as Val and I read the CT Scan together, a tear dropped out of her eye. Our beloved Tyler walked across the room and wiped it away. God was witness to that event beloved and I can tell you that great power flowed from His throne in response to that act of compassion. On that night, Tyler did what God will do at a future time. He will wipe away every tear from our eyes.

Our next chemo date at USC is January 4th. We will be discussing changes to our treatment regimen with Dr. Lenz.

Please pray that God would heal Val completely. We will continue to pursue all medical options that He has faithfully guided us to do. Pray that Val's weight would go up to 125. Pray for the wisdom of when to get a PET scan. Pray that Dr. Lenz would be given wisdom from on High to prescribe the perfect chemo regimen. Pray that Val's pain would leave her and she would be energized by the Holy Spirit. Pray for the upcoming stent change with Dr. Lo on January 19th. Pray for Chris and his health. We are so proud of him for closing a huge deal in his business. Pray for Val's mom Nancy as she continues to battle pain from Fibromyalgia.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen

Godspeed Beloved and Blessings to you in 2007 from the throne of our glorious Saviour

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2007

I know it has been a long time since I have blogged. My computer has issues. I can't always get on line. Anyway, I went up to USC on Wednesday of this week for a CAT scan, spent the night up there (went to a nice dinner with Chris) and met with Dr. Lenz the next day. Dr Lenz said my bigger tumor looked stable but the radiologist said in the posterier part of the liver it was hard to tell if it was inflamed or the tumors had grown. He was leaning towards inflamation because no other tumors had grown and my liver panel looked good. I will be able to get the full report on Tuesday. The stents can cause inflammation.

My bilirubin was 1.9 which is good. ALT 39 AST 42. platletes 241. My WBC is 12.2 which is high meaning I just finished fighting a bug or I could have something lingering. So I am laying low and out of crowds.

I have been feeling good. My only complaint is fatigue. Some mornings it really takes me a while to get going. I have been taking:
Ambatrose
Pytalow
All my vitamins
Mangosteen

Alot of these help with fatigue. Looking forward to Christmas and the New Year with my family.

Thank you to ALL of who have been bringing dinners. They really have been helping out. My 3 boys and husband go through a whole box of cereal in one morning so you can imagine the food requirements around here.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!!!~!

Love you all,

Valerie

P.S. from mom:
The photo was taken on Christmas Eve 1968 by the Apollo 8 astronauts as they circled the moon. The astronauts read the first 10 verses of Genesis as the Earth rose above the Lunar surface. Christmas Eve 1968 was very special to us also. God Most High had blessed us with the birth of our first daughter, Valerie, just two months earlier. Just as God created light on the Earth, He created light in our life when all our children were born. You can listen to the astronauts' transmission to Earth at http://www.askingy.com/?p=362

Lost in Alabama

Nancy and I visited Jeff and Jan in Alabama earlier this year. Jeff and I would go out on long trail runs through the Alabama woods, swatting black flies all the way. We got lost once but obviously found our way back.

A few months later, I saw a Magellan Portable GPS on sale at Fry's for $49.95. I sent one to Jeff so he could carry it on his trail runs. It shows you the way back to your destination.

Like most people on a hectic schedule, he didn't bother to check it out until one day when he got lost and was hard pressed to find his way out. Now I am sure he uses it when he goes out into unfamiliar territory.

Here are a few factoids for you techies; Navstar, the Global Positioning System, consists of (24) solar-powered satellites orbiting twice a day 12,000 miles above the Earth. Each satellite weighs 2,000 pounds, has a 10-year life, is 17' across, and transmits a signal using 50 watts of power. The signal picked up by a GPS Receiver will tell you your exact location on Earth within 3 meters.

We have been on a journey with Val for fourteen months. Like the Alabama woods, this is a strange new territory for us. We long ago sailed out of the safe harbor for the high seas. Our decisions on which way to go are always presented to our God. And His stamp of approval is on every decision made. He is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.

C.S. Lewis wrote, "We are not living in a world where all roads are radii of a circle, which, if followed long enough, will draw nearer and finally meet; rather in a world where every road, after a few miles, forks into two, and each of those into two again, and at each fork you must make a decision." Life is not like a river but like a tree.

Tough decisions were made this week. Stay the course for our scheduled CT scan last night and Chemo 26 today. Very hard for Val and Chris in light of all the holiday activities and the beginning of baseball camp for Gavin and Ryan.

But stay the course they did and I am very grateful for their sacrifice. I talked to Val just a few minutes ago as they hit the I-5 parking lot in L.A. Her blood numbers are dramatically improved (Bilirubin, ALT, and AST way down) except for a white blood cell count of 12.2 (normal is 3.2). This is an indicator of fighting an infection. Please pray that we are on the downside of this battle rather than the upside.

The pictures show no growth on the big tumor but some other undefined image change in the liver. We will have to wait for the Radiologist's report next Tuesday but Dr. Lenz doesn't necessarily see it as cancer activity because the blood numbers are so improved. He did tell her to keep a low stress level to assist in fighting any infection. This is do-able.

And so, beloved, I look forward to 2007 with great expectations. A well-meaning soul once asked me, "how long can we keep Val with us?"

My answer; we are, by God's grace, the prayers of the Saints, and the physician's skills, keeping Val with us . "How long" does not fit into our plan.

Thank you for your prayers for Val. I look forward to thanking each of you personally when I see you at the Marriage Supper of The Lamb.

Regarding our life on Earth, Lewis wrote,"But what, you ask, of Earth? Earth, I think, will not be found by anyone to be in the end a very distinct place. I think Earth, if chosen instead of Heaven, will turn out to have been, all along, only a region in Hell; and Earth ,if put second to Heaven, to have been from the beginning a part of Heaven itself."

Julie and the kids are coming next Tuesday. We are all planning an outing to LegoLand.


Merry Christmas Beloved of God

Hanukkah

Tomorrow is Hanukkah.

Hanukkah, The Feast of Dedication or Festival of Lights, is celebrated for eight days and nights, starting on the 25th of Kislev on the Hebrew calendar .

The holiday commemorates the rededication of the Temple of God Most High in Jerusalem in 165 B.C.

In 168 B.C., the Temple was seized by Antiochus Epiphanes, King of Syria and dedicated to the worship of Zeus.

Some Jews were afraid of the soldiers and and did not resist, but most were angry and decided to fight back.

Fighting began in Modiin, a village not far from Jerusalem. Soldiers assembled the villagers and ordered them to bow to an idol and eat the flesh of a pig. An officer ordered Mattathias, a Jewish High Priest, to lead the ceremony. He refused, and another villager stepped forward and offered to do it instead. Mattathias became outraged, took out his sword and killed the man, then killed the officer. His five sons and the other villagers then attacked and killed the soldiers. Mattathias' family went into hiding in the nearby mountains, where many other Jews joined them. They attacked the soldiers whenever possible.

Jewish resistance fighters, led by Judah Maccabee took back the Temple. They cleaned and repaired the Temple, and when they were finished, they decided to have a big dedication ceremony. For the celebration, the Maccabees wanted to light the menorah. They looked everywhere for oil, and found a small flask that contained only enough oil to light the Menorah for one day. Miraculously, the oil lasted for eight days. This gave them enough time to obtain new oil to keep the menorah lit.

Today Jews celebrate Hanukkah for eight days by lighting one candle every night. The ninth candle of the Menorah is used to light the other eight.

God's command to us is the same today as it was in 165 B.C.

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem.

Happy Hanukkah

Cool Pics

The beach shots, taken on July 12th, are from Del Mar Beach on Camp Pendleton. The other shot is from the Genentech Children's Christmas Party yesterday.

David's Finest Hour

No, it wasn't when he slew Goliath of Gath. His finest hour came when he was King of Israel.

One evening as he walked on the roof of his palace, King David saw a beautiful woman bathing. After being told that Bathsheba was the wife of Uriah, an army officer, he summoned her to the palace and they committed adultery together.

She became pregnant so David ordered Uriah home from the war, hoping he would sleep with Bathsheba and hide the fact that David was the father. In times of war, however, soldiers of Israel abstained from sexual relations.

King David wrote to his general in the field and ordered him to place Uriah in the front line of battle and then withdraw so he would be killed. The plan worked.

When Bathsheba's period of mourning was over, David summoned her to the palace to be his wife. But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.

The LORD sent Nathan the Prophet to David. When he came to him, he said, "There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. "Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him."

David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, "As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity."

Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man!

This was a public confrontation. He could have ordered Nathan's execution or have him thrown out of the country. But in the greatest moment of his life, King David admitted in 2 Samuel 12:13, "I have sinned against the Lord." This is why Jesus said of David, he was a man after God's own heart.

Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He shall lift you up.

Val and Nancy are off to get a manicure this afternoon. The kids are going to a Children's Christmas Party at Genentech tomorrow.

Our next Chemo appointment is Thursday, 12/21 at USC. We are scrambling to fit into the CAT Scan schedule so we can review the results with Dr. Lenz next Thursday. So far, the only slot available is next Wednesday at 4:40 pm. This is very tough since Val has to fast after midnight. Please pray that another early morning slot opens up.

A stent replacement is scheduled for Jamuary 18th with Dr. Lo. Pray that our present (3) stents continue to function well and that Val is able to avoid any blood infections. They can be deadly.

Although the last set of blood numbers show improvement, albumen levels are too low. This indicates a lack of protein. Val needs to eat more to keep up her energy and avoid being undernourished. Pray for a good appetite. Also, low hemoglobin causes fatigue. Pray that this number climbs back to normal.

I did notice last night, however, that her stomach distension caused by fluid in the abdomen is reduced some. Pray that the diuretics continue to work. Also pray that the bile thinner is improving flow through the liver and biliary tree.

Finally, pain management is a continuing challenge. Pray for wisdom on drugs and other methods to deal with this demon.

Pray also for Julie. She is dealing with a corneal problem that has caused blurred vision. The doctor says it is caused by dry weather and has given her a prescription. I am going up to San Luis Obispo to install a humidifier on her furnace.

Godspeed Beloved

December 7th, 1941

65 years ago yesterday, at 0600, a fleet of 33 Japanese ships, including 6 aircraft carriers, launched an air attack on the U.S. Pacific Fleet anchored in Pearl Harbor, Oahu. 2,388 U.S. military service men and women lost their lives on that day.

It is good to remember and honor their sacrifice. They are the reason we live in a great nation today.

Val and Paul went to USC Norris for Chemotherapy yesterday. Her blood numbers were improved from the last test done on 11/20. Hemo. 9.2, Bili. 3.1, AST 50, ALT 41, platelets 181, and alkaline phosphate 197. She is feeling pretty good, just tired from trying to keep up the pace of her family. Albumin is too low. She needs more protein intake.

One of our biggest concerns is abdominal fluid retention, that may or may not be Ascites. She is taking a diuretic. Dr. Lenz wants her back to USC next week if it doesn't improve. They will take a sample for analysis. Please pray that this fluid will subside on it's own.

HIDDEN IN CHRIST

In Colossians 3:3, Paul reminds us, "you died and your life is hidden with Christ in God." According to II Corinthians 4:7, "we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."

On this earth, we are the veiled repository of God's treasures. When the Lord Jesus comes at the end of time, He will reveal to the world not only His glory but the glory of those who have hoped in Him. Colossians 3:4 reveals this truth; when Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

"Beloved," wrote the Apostle John in I John 3:2, "now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when he is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is."

Immediately after John and Paul explain the Christian's hope of glory, they take us to the practical application to our lives. John says, "And everyone who has this hope in himself purifies himself, just as he is pure." Paul says, "Therefore put to death...fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness.

While we wait the final revelation of glory, we are to live an inner life of holiness, without which "no one will see the Lord," according to Hebrews 12:14.

Thus it has always been. The hidden lives of the saints. Their communion with God, their obedience is concealed. But the Good Shepherd knows them. He calls them by name.

Godspeed

How Big Is Heaven?

Recently, Nancy gave Val a really thick book that claims to describe what Heaven is like. I started reading it on our trip to Cedars last week. After thumbing through several chapters and getting stuck on whether it rains or snows in Heaven, I gave up and told Val that it was a rather tedious book. I promised her a better description of Heaven.

So here it is

The truth is, in my humanity, I can barely understand living in time and space on the surface of a tiny planet spinning around at 1,042 MPH. I am getting older and 100 years from now there will be no physical trace of me in sight. How depressing is that?

And space? The picture above does not do justice to the insignificance of our planet in the "known" universe. As big as it is, our Sun would appear the size of a pixel compared to the star Antares!

So how big is heaven? And, more importantly, where is it? Is it some parallel universe humming along with lots of inhabitants zipping around in a Jetson-Like City of flying cars weaving through crystal skyscrapers?

When Moses asked God Most High what His name was, God responded, "I AM". When the Pharisees questioned Jesus' claim that Abraham saw Jesus' Annunciation and rejoiced, Jesus responded, Before Abraham was, "I AM."

So how big is Heaven? HEAVEN IS.

In John Lennon's beautiful song "Imagine", the first line says; "Imagine there's no Heaven. It's easy if you try." The rest of the lyrics present an idyllic but sadly unrealistic picture of life on Earth with no connection to eternity. Tragically, an assassin's bullets ended Mr. Lennon's life on December 8th, 1980.

So what is time? We spend it. It passes. As soon as I say that the present time is 12:55, it is already past. The future has not arrived. The past is gone. The present is. When you gaze at the stars, you are seeing light that began it's journey hundreds of years ago. You are looking into the past.

And what about eternity? Is it a real long time? Does time fit into it? I saw a bumper sticker once that read, It's not that life's so short, it's that death's so long."

And space. Where does it end? As a child, I imagined a huge wall of boulders at the outer reaches of the Universe. In Jim Carey's movie, "The Truman Show", he finally reached the limits of his universe. And he escaped!

If only we could find a reliable witness who has visited Heaven and came back to tell us about it. All of us have heard reports of those who claim to have come near to death. Go to the light, Go to the light, they cry! Don't believe them. The Bible says that every man has one appointment with physical death. And it's not a round-trip ticket.

Be encouraged beloved as I remind you of faithful witnesses who have been to heaven and returned with a report for us.

In Chapter 12 of Paul's second letter to the church at Corinth, the Apostle tells us of a man who, 14 years earlier, was caught up into Heaven. That man was Paul himself. He may have been stoned to death (my opinion) . This man was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in the flesh."

What Paul saw and heard was so wonderful, so far beyond our human experience, that God had to impose this extreme sanction to keep him focused on the knowledge that "My grace is sufficient for you."

In the last two chapters of Revelation, an angel takes the Apostle John on a tour of the new Heaven and the new Earth, with special emphasis on the Holy City, the new Jerusalem. John is so overwhelmed by what he sees and especially by his traveling companion that he falls down to worship the angel. The angel sharply rebukes him; "do not do it! I am a fellow servant with you."

And so we go back to the beginning. All things are made new in Revelation. Everything that spoiled The Garden of Eden is excluded. No night. No death. Nothing impure. Satan disappears forever. No tears. No pain. We will walk with God again just as we did in Eden.

The Garden of Eden was situated at the confluence of the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers, in present day Iraq. It is interesting to note that Satan and his minions of evil are so active in this historic area. Since we are all descendants of Adam and Eve, we are all Iraqis!

Anyone who has traveled out of the country knows how good it feels when you return home and hand your passport to the Customs Officer. Many of these professionals have said to me, "welcome home sir."

In his letter to The Saints at Phillipi, and to us, Paul's exhortation is to press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called us Heavenward in Christ Jesus. Why Paul? Because, we are citizens of Heaven. Beloved, my U.S. passport expires in 2009, but my passport to Heaven is irrevocable. It is signed in blood.

Here is the end of the matter, beloved. For the Child of God, for the saint who has been bought with a price, you are today a citizen of Heaven. You have been sent to this far country for a short season to proclaim the Good News of Jesus Christ. Heaven is our home. Our return will be filled with unspeakable joy as we join those who have gone before us.

And we shall behold Him.