Day to Day

I wanted to say Thank You to all the people that attended Val’s Memorial Service. It was just an incredible testament to the beautiful giving person she was. There were so many of her friends there, it was nice to see all the support. The rain was so fitting and the Rainbow’s that every one witnessed going home to San Diego and Orange County were Val showing us she is in Heaven and doing just fine. Val’s was such an incredible women!! She always cared so much about other people and how they were doing. Even when the call came that she had a rare form of Liver Cancer and that she only had months left she cared even more about others than her self. She never once complained about herself or her situation even thru 18 straight months of being on Chemo. She was always uplifting and was more worried about the kids or how I was doing. I’m not saying that she was not worried about herself but she always had that incredible gift to give way more than she took, always!! Everyone loved her so much for that.

It’s been so difficult with her not around. Sunday was always Church / Family day and just hanging out around the house. It was very difficult with her not around today. Last Sunday I took Ryan and Gavin Motocross riding for the first time since earlier Nov. They had a blast. I’m keeping very busy with them between Baseball and School. It’s just like a have a huge part of my heart ripped out and there is no way for any one to fix it. We were married for over 11 years and knew each other for 6 years before. With my health problems over the last 5 years Val always joked about getting a new husband at 55 because I wouldn’t be around anymore. This was only in a joking sense, but she was so healthy and it was just the big joke.

Today I decided to replace our old worn out Bedspread that was falling apart. I’ve never bought one before or at least for the last 13 years. This was Val’s position on the team. She was the expert shopper and always came home with things for the house and our room to show me. It was so hard going out today getting something that she normally would do. I was going to call a couple of her friends to asked where I should go or if they wanted to come along to help, but I figured that I need to start learning this thread count stuff and bedding language on my own.

At night after the kids are asleep that was our time to talk and hangout. Now the house is so quiet and there is nobody to talk with. The pain I’m feeling now was unimaginable before. I know she has been very sick for the last 6 months and that this disease dose not have any percents of positive outcomes associated with it but we always wanted to hold on to the hope that she would be the one. She never wanted to talk about, what if. She only wanted to talk about when I’m better we will do. We all wanted to believe that would be the outcome. I guess what I’m trying to say is that even if you know it’s not good, it’s very hard to prepare until it really happens and then it’s so overwhelming. It’s one of those things that you can never really be ready for.

I just know that she is in a better place and is now Pain Free… She went thru so much the last 18 months with all the hospital visits.

I really want to say Thank You to Richard and Nancy for all their dedication and Love. Thanks to Amy Nelson for the coordinating all the Dinners and to all the friends that have brought them over. Char you gave so much over the last 18 months too. Always ready to help even if there was 1,000 miles between. Val loved you so much. You are one incrediable Aunt!! Dawn you were with Val so much the last 18 months. She loved you for all your help and support. You were there for her with whatever she needed. Thank You for all your support with Val and awesome care of the Boy's! Val and I were so lucky to have picked such an incredible neighborhood to live in for almost 4 years. It has been such a blessing to have neighbors that are willing to do what ever to help out from the bottom of there hearts. Also, it brought us to Valley Christian School and this was another huge blessing. All the parents and staff are the best!! We have only been there two years, but it feels like family. Val loved all the Moms in the “Moms in Touch” group too. They were such good friends to her. I can’t possibly say thanks to everyone, just know the McCrea Family is very grateful for all the love and support!!

Val was always looking forward to becoming a Mother. When that opportunity came with the birth of Ryan she could not have been any happier. That continued with Gavin and Tyler. She was such an incredible Mother who did so much for her Boys. Gavin was her tender heart and he had such a close bond with her. I will really need to work on filling this void. I can be Dad; it’s easy with three boys.

I’m so blessed to have three beautiful Boys’ from her. I want to share with the boys all the great memories of Val in the future. If you have any great Val stories and want to share them feel free to post them under the comments or email them to me at mccreach@yahoo.com

-Chris

A Big Hole

Valerie's departure has left a big hole in our lives. It has been especially hard this week. Everyone is gone. Dawn is in Colorado. I stop to see Chris and the boys on the way home from work. Gav and I played Life last night. Ryan went to baseball practice. Gav and Chris went out to practice ball. I was sitting next to Tyler, who was was sleeping on the couch. The house was very still and there was a feeling of emptiness. A big hole.

Saturday morning. We all went to Ryan's baseball game at Bradley Field this morning. Chris and Gavin are at his game as I write. Nancy put Tyler down for a nap and is doing some laundry. Chris and I had a good discussion about money. An important subject. Nancy is planning to take the train to Julie's in San Luis Obispo Monday morning. I am thinking about taking Tyler and going up to SLO on Friday. Tammy just called and invited us to a barbecue at her house this afternoon.

Life has this strange habit of going on in spite of our circumstances. I have struggled all week at work just trying to be productive. David Broad, our General Manager called me into his office yesterday and asked if I would speak to all our employees about Val. She was on (2) chemotherapies that we make where I work. I did and was amazed at the end of a 5 minute talk. Many were in tears when I finished. I was thanking them for all their hard work for Val and thousands of other patients just like her.

Nancy asked me how I feel this week. The only word that came to mind was "empty". I was in the Costco parking lot and fantasized that my phone rang. It was Val. She wanted to meet me. I asked her where? She said right where you are.

I have hesitated to write to you beloved, because I have been very sad that Val is in Heaven and I am on Earth. The separation for me is very painful. But today, the Lord reminded me that Val is meeting all those christians in my family and Nancy's family that have gone before us. This is especially pleasant since no one in our immediate family are christians so these saints of previous generations were unknown to us. Also, Julie told me that in Val's last days in her body, she whispered to her to say hello to Tim Sharp and Randy Moersch for her.

Chad is working hard on linking Val's Slideshow shown at her memorial service to this blog. You will love it.

Godspeed Beloved

Sisters

Sisters have played a major role in the comfort Richard and I have received. Richard's sister Char has been here for awhile, working to give our dear Val every advantage possible. Thank you Char.

My sisters Judy and Janet arrived from Michigan and stood beside us as we walked step by step through the homegoing of Valerie. They were tireless in cooking, cleaning, laundry, answering the phone, arranging flowers and helping me. A mistake had been made. Their names did not appear in the Memorial service bulletin. I want them to know how much it meant to me to have them here. Thank you for coming. It meant the world to me.

One afternoon as I was watering the flowers on my deck, my dear Janet grabbed the hose and sprayed the whole back end of my pants. I shrieked because the water was so cold. Of course, I did the same thing to her. When she was sufficiently doused, we laughed until we cried! We needed that after the intensity of so many days. Thank you both for your love!

My Sisters in Christ at Emmanuel Faith have been holding me up in prayer. I can feel the love, peace and comfort!

Valerie's sisters in Christ have been amazing. Our friend Sondra brought Valerie's prescriptions to her home on a regular basis. One day she not only had the prescriptions but also brought her rubber gloves and cleaning supplies. She cleaned all four bathrooms. Mary bought the boys clothes for the memorial service. Deanna, April, Steph and Kelli have helped so much. There have been so many gifts. I will ever stand amazed at the love that has been shown to my daughter. Food has been coming in for 18 months and will continue until Chris and the boys are ready to launch out on their own. Before hospice sent a night nurse, some of her dearest friends rom Valley Bible slept two at a time on sofas next to her. They helped her to the bathroom, gave her massages, changed her clothes, read the Bible to her and gave her the Roxinol for pain. One morning, I came close to Val's face and kissed her. She said, "my friends?" with a big smile on her face. I said, "its mom." There have been church services at her home because it was too difficult for the family to physically get there. Tami, Chris, Karee, Osil, Theresa and Diane are from Valley Bible. This is not a thank you list. It is an example of some of the sisterhood and love that exists at the school Ryan and Gavin attend. With an attitude of prayer in all things and a daily devotion to the Lord and each other, they have obeyed God.

John 14:23 "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me."

John 15:12 "My command is this: Love one another as I have loved you.

We Love You Sisters

ps: If possible, please leave your name even if the top portion says anonymous

Valerie Ann McCrea

San Diego Union Tribune

Continued Support

You are invited to celebrate Val's life on:

Friday, April 20th at 2:30 pm
at Emmanuel Faith Church
639 East Felicita (corner of 17th Ave)
Escondido, CA 92025
Click This Link For Directions
_______________________________

A special graveside service for "family and close friends" will be held on:

Friday, April 20th at 1:00 pm
at Oak Hill Memorial Park
2640 Glenridge Road
Escondido, CA 92027
Click This Link For Directions

If you would like to show your continued support for Val's battle, in lieu of sending flowers, we would request that you send donations to either...

San Diego Hospice
4311 3rd Ave
San Diego, Cal 92103
Attn: Foundation, in memory of Valerie McCrea

or

Cholangiocarcinoma Care Foundation
175 S. Main
Suite 975
Salt Lake City, Ut 84103
In memory of Valerie McCrea


The McCrea and Sloan families

Celebration

At 7:00 pm on October 20, 1968, only a few thousand spectators remained in Mexico City's Olympic Stadium. Finally they heard the wail of police sirens. A lone runner wearing the colors of Tanzania staggered into the stadium. John Stephan Akhawari was the last contestant to finish the 26.2 mile race. His leg injured in a fall, bloodied and crudely bandaged, He hobbled the final lap around the track.

The crowd rose to their feet and applauded as if he were the Gold Medal Champion. After the race, a reporter asked why he had not quit. His reply, "My country did not send me 7,000 miles to start the race. They sent me to finish it."

Three days after this event, another great runner was born. Valerie Ann Sloan.

Last Sunday night, Val was that runner, injured and alone, approaching the Mexico City Arena. But inside were waiting "that great cloud of witnesses" that God has declared were watching her. And all of you were there, as was the Lord Jesus Himself. She finished the race and our Lord declared, "Well done. Welcome home."

The Lord Jesus had a moment in the Garden of Gethsemane where he was tempted to quit the race. But as he prayed, God the Father reminded Him that He did not send Him to start the race but to finish it. Our Saviour finished His race at Calvary, and declared, "it is finished."

Val fought the good fight. Some might say she lost the battle. Many said that when our Lord died on that dark day. But death could not hold Him. And death can not hold our beloved.

Jesus, our great Redeemer, conquered it.

You are invited to celebrate Val's life on Friday, April 20th at 2:30 pm at Emmanuel Faith Church, 639 East Felicita, Escondido, California 92025. For those of you who can't make it, a video will be available on UTube. We will post a link to it soon.

A graveside service for family and close friends will be held on Friday April 20th at 1:00 pm. at Oak Hill Memorial Park, 2640 Glenridge Road, Escondido 92027.


Godspeed Beloved

Godspeed Beloved

Our beautiful girl left us for Heaven's bright shore tonight at 10:00 PM. She has joined that great cloud of witnesses that surround us as we run the race that is set before us. We loved her with an everlasting love. I whispered to her that I have always been with her and will be with her forever. I will never leave her. She is my beloved and I have been so blessed to have her in my life. She has been a light to me and to many others. I count it as one of the highest privileges of my life to have traveled with her on this 18 month journey into darkness. Through it all the Lord Jesus Himself has been a light unto our path and a light unto our feet.

Godspeed Beloved Richard

Sacred Prayers

Last night at 8 pm, we gathered around Valerie for a sacred prayer. Her blood pressure was 100 over zero. Our dear Ryan prayed twice during this blessed time. Diane Burke, our African American sister in Christ and Hospice Nurse joined us. At the time of this post, our dear one continues to breath on. It is a high privilege to hear her and hold her hand. I will sneak up for a few hours of sleep and leave her in Dianne's loving care.

Godspeed

Double Peak

For those of you who have been to Val's house, if you look south, you will see

Double Peak, the mountain with the walking trail going up the side. I ran up to the summit last night. It was cold and cloudy. A strong wind was blowing in from the ocean. I spent some time in prayer and left Val's name in stone. As I was coming down, I had a vision of Val running up the trail to meet me. I asked the Lord if I could meet her on this trail the first time we meet again in Heaven. He assured me that he would make it so.

Greg Lane, Val's College Pastor from Emmanuel Faith came over last night. We had an intimate time sharing old memories and praying together.

Julie arrived last night about midnight. Nancy's sisters, Janet and Judy, are flying in this afternoon from Michigan. Jeff, Val's oldest brother, is arriving from Alabama tonight.

Walt Disney died before Disney World and EPCOT Center were opened. Mr. Disney's wife Lillian was at the dedication when a friend leaned over and said how wonderful it would be if Walt could have seen it. Lillian responded, he did see it. That is why it is here. He saw what was unseen.

Like Mr. Disney, our eyes see the unseen by faith.

And faith, beloved, is tested by fire to prove that it is real and true. 1st Peter 1: 7 says, "These have come so that your faith....may be proved genuine."

The eyes of the faithful are described in 2nd Corinthians 4:18; "so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Like Mr. Disney, our hearts Believe the unbelievable by faith.

Romans 8:28 is perhaps one of the most unbelievable promises in scripture. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

Physically, Val's condition is unchanged. She is young and strong. Her body just keeps on keeping on. A testament to the majestic power of God in creating us. Continue to pray that Val will be raised back to health.

Godspeed

Running The Race

I love this picture taken at The Torrey Pines Inn. Nobody was ready for the shot. Look at Char and Nancy trying to organize the troop. Me reading to Kyle. Life is a lot like that. Never organized. Never ready for the next moment.

Nothing has changed. We aren't ready to let Val go and lose the privelege of her company for the rest of our journey on Earth. But let go we must. She is Heaven bound and nothing will stop her. I do still pray that God has it on His radar screen to return her to us at the last moment.

Val and I ran together a lot over the years. I was pretty fast but she was always faster. One summer day we were cranking up Teepee Hill in Escondido. I was pushing hard but she smoked me. We ran a lot on Black Mountain in Rancho Bernardo. I got in the habit of memorizing scripture while I run. I also like to say it out loud. One day, I was in Phillipians and got to the part where Paul said, "watch out for those dogs." Val jumped into my arms thinking we were under attack! Another time, we were out in an area with bee hives. She sucked one in and got stung on the lip. Char was telling me about a run with Val at her home in Colorado. Elevation 7,000 feet for you sea level wimps. Anyway, Char mentioned that one of her neighbors was a nudist (she lives in a very rural area of the mountains). I don't think Val believed her until they ran past a naked guy watering his lawn.

Like the Apostle Paul, Val has run the race. She has finished the course. Listen to Paul's words. There is nothing new under the sun. The same apply to our beloved.

For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Physically, Val continues to decline. She is on a pain pump. The nurse added an oxygen tube to her nose today for comfort. She is also on a ??? suppository for stress. Everyone who loves her is around. I think she most likes the holy whispering from her mom into her ear. Paul is coming over tonight. Julie is coming down tomorrow. Nancy's sisters, Janet and Judy, are flying in tomorrow. Osil's husband has been kind in sending a limo (from his business) to pick them up at the airport. Jeff is coming from Alabama in the next couple of days. He is an F16 Squadron Commander being deployed to the Korean Peninsula in June.

Val is enjoying christian music from Nancy's IPOD into her ears.

Godspeed

We Are All Praying Together

This picture symbolizes what Val has done in her own special way. She has brought a lot of people together over the past 18 months. These people are family, friends, and friends of friends from all across the country and they have come here to wish Val the very best and to pray that her suffering will end. We also pray that her pain will diminish. Many of the people who visit this blog daily are friends for life, and many visitors are people who have joined in along the way. I think that several of us visiting have learned that life should not be taken for granted, but rather we should cherish each moment that we have with our family and friends. Thanks again for all your prayers and help as we continue to pray for Val.

Val had a lot of energy today, relatively speaking. She wanted to get out of bed and walk around at 7:00am. I was reading a book to Tyler right next to Val and Char in the living room. When I’m reading and Tyler see’s people with sad faces in the book he says “mad, mad face”. I was trying to make a mad face and right after that Val started to do this with her face. I didn’t think she fully understood what we were saying and 5 seconds later she had Char and I laughing. Then Tyler got more involved and he was trying to make his own mad face. It was just one of those moments that were special.

She is having more problems with the pain relief, so Hospice put her on a Pump tonight to help smooth out her pain. She is still trying to play Mom and tell the boys what to do. She was trying to tell Tyler to put on his pants this morning. She is having problems letting go. Her mind is so strong. I think she gets this from all the running she use to do. When you are in pain running its mind over body and she is an expert at it. She once was running so much each week she stress fractured her lower leg and had to be in a cast for 6 weeks. I guess what I’m trying to say is she is such a fighter and with the Boy’s it’s not easy to say I give up.

Please pray that she can let her mind rest and the pain pump works well.

THANKS for all the beautiful comments and all the effort with the Meals!!

-Chris

Passing The Torch

This very cool picture is Val racing an RC car at a track I had built where I work in Oceanside.

In Paul's 2nd letter to Timothy, we find the weary apostle facing execution in prison. His life of obedience to Jesus Christ was coming to an end. It was time to pass the torch to Timothy.

The words of his letter are filled with emotion; Sadness, weariness, fear, nostalgia, and concern for the church of Jesus Christ.

But overshadowing all of his human emotions is his confidence and blessed assurance that Jesus is alive and in control of all things. Listen to his triumphant recollection of an encounter with The High King Of Heaven on the road to Damascus;

"but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Saviour, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel......I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day.......If we died with Him, we will also live with Him; If we endure, we will also reign with Him."

Based on what we see, Val is about to leave us. What we don't see is in God's hands. She has run the race. She has finished the course. Her citizenship is in Heaven. Her passport is validated with the blood of Jesus Christ. Val is passing the torch to us. He who began a good work in her will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ.

All of the human emotions expressed by Paul in his final discourse to Timothy fill the hearts of all of us, and all of you, as we struggle saying goodbye to Val. She is leaving us but we are not losing her.

But Do not grieve, beloved, as those who have no hope. According the Lord's own word;

"The Lord Himself will come down from Heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever."

Comfort ye my people with these words.

Physically, Val's biggest problem today is difficulty in swallowing. Pray that she can swallow water and protein drinks without anything going to her lungs. We are walking a fine line between encouraging her and forcing her to drink. Pray also that those who assist her in moving around are very careful with their back.

Godspeed

Easter Update

Val spent a quiet day with her family on Easter. Her pain level has dropped and was actually able to go outside and watch the kids do an Easter egg hunt late yesterday afternoon. Hospice is back to help Val starting last night. Char is back in town too.

Body Soul and Spirit

Since the beginning of time, philosophers, scientists, poets, theologians, and various mental giants have struggled in their attempt to capture evidence of the soul and spirit of a man. Science and medicine know a lot about our physical body. They will tell you, correctly, that the soul doesn’t exist because there is no physical location where it can be found in the brain. Their argument is a bit like the lady who reported that an invisible man had taken residence in her home. The scientist concluded that he didn’t exist because he couldn’t be seen.

In trying to explain what a soul is to my seven year old grandson recently, I picked up a glove and asked him if he thought it was alive. “No”, was his answer. Then I put it on and took his hand in my gloved hand. Now, said I, the glove has come to life because my hand is inside. Your body is like the glove, it comes to life because your soul is inside. Not a perfect analogy, but good enough for me and a seven year old.

And the Spirit of God Most High. What evidence can I present of His presence. That is an easy one. As I sat in front of the fireplace on Easter Morning with Val in her upstairs bedroom, I was reading aloud John’s account of Mary Magdalene, Peter and John going to the empty tomb. Tears of joy are the only evidence necessary to assure me of His presence.

Val’s soul and spirit are leaving us. She is packing her bags. They are easy to pack. Paul tells us that at the end of I Corinthians 13. And now, Beloved, these three remain, faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Why does Paul say that love is the greatest? Because it is the only thing you pack in your bag for the trip to Heaven’s bright shore.

Physically, Val is very much with us. She is sleeping more. No fever. She will have a blood panel done today. Continue to pray that God will intervene and she will return to the land of the living. The prayer of my heart is that she would be present when I leave this Earth.

Char came into town Saturday. She is staying at Val's. Mia, our night nurse was there last night. We are hoping that we can stay on The Critical Care Roster with San Diego Hospice. They will then provide a 24 hour nurse service.

Thanks to all who provided a fantastic Easter dinner for us.

Saturday Flash

For those of you who were planning to come to Val's for a Communion service tonight, I think we will have to cancel. Val gets quite tired by the end of the day. Thanks for the RSVP's from Theresa, Lanie, Jennie, Kaylee, Heidi, Sandi, Amy, Alice, Ted, and Nicole.

Val had an x-ray yesterday. It revealed a blockage in her intestines. We are not sure what is causing it. Dr. Patel called from Cedars. He stressed the importance of good bowel acitivity. we are changing the antibiotic from Cipro to Xifaxan. Val is getting a blood panel done on Monday.

Char is due in this afternoon.

Please pray that this blockage would be cleared. Pray that we wake up some fine morning to a Valerie who is completely healed. It seems a reasonable request to ask our God to allow Val to raise her children to adulthood.

Godspeed

In The Shadowlands

This Good Friday Morning is like no other in my life. My daughter has one foot on Earth and the other in Heaven.

Thursday 33 A.D., after sunset in Jerusalem. The Lord Jesus is eating His final meal with the Apostles in the Upper Room. A dispute arises over which of the apostles is the greatest. He rebukes them and assumes the duties of footwashing, a task assigned to the lowest ranking household servant. The God of all Creation washes their feet. He identifies Judas the betrayer. Judas leaves and Jesus warns the Apostles against deserting Him. All, particularly Peter, insist they will never desert Him. The Lord takes the cup, gave thanks, passes it to His Apostles, and says, “I will not drink from henceforth of the fruit of the vine until the Kingdom of God shall come.”

Beloved, for the child of God Most High, there is coming a day when we will share the cup with our Saviour. He is the firstborn from the dead. When we see Him, we will be like Him.

And He took the bread, and when he had given thanks, he brake it, and gave it to them, saying, “this is My body which is given for you: this do in rememberance of Me.” And the cup in like manner after supper, saying, “this cup is the new Covenant in My blood, that which is poured out for you.”

In like manner, the saints throughout time have celebrated this remembrance of our Lord until He returns. We shall do likewise. Tomorrow night, Saturday, at 7 pm we will gather at Val’s house to sing a hymn, read from God’s Word and celebrate Communion. All who call on the name of Jesus are welcome. Please RSVP to me at 619 7789945. There is probably a practical limit of about (30) who can fit in the house. Leave small children at home if possible.

Physically, Val is not doing well. Her legs are swollen. Her abdomen is distended with air. She is eating and drinking as much as can be expected. Her alertness ebbs and flows. She is in no pain. We are continuing antibiotics and have ordered a blood panel for Monday. Truly she is in God’s hands. Her future is secure. My continued prayer is that she would stay with us and be healed.

I am very grateful to San Diego Hospice, particularly Petra, our Nurse Practitioner. She truly goes the extra mile and has taken a very personal approach in her loving care of Valerie.

Meals for McCrea Family

Amy Nelson is generously continuing to be the point person to coordinate meals for the McCreas. Many of you are already on Amy's list, but if there is any other people who would like to sign up to bring a meal to Val and her family call or email Amy. The best time to bring a meal is between 5-6pm.

Special thanks to Amy!

Amy Nelsonononuts@cox.net
760-743-2331 home
760-807-6032 cell

When I think of you who bring wonderful meals for Val I can't help but think of Romans 12:4-6

For as we have many members in one body, but all of the members do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Having gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them.....Thank you for being the "hands" to prepare meals. Among the other outpourings of love you are meeting a need that is part of the "body" of needs that Val has as she struggles with this cancer.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts and have a wonderful Easter celebrating our risen LORD.

Julie

Dr. Amy

Dr. Amy Whitman, a Scripps physician and personal friend of Valerie, has been a great resource and provider of critical services in Val's home. She and I had a frank, difficult, painful debate last night. Me, the dad and engineer who can fix anything. She the competent medical professional.

I was on shaky ground.

Point one: Should Valerie have an outpatient ultrasound and paracentisis to drain ascites fluid in her abdomen? After an examination, Amy indicated that the distension is not fluid but air inhaled and not exiting the body normally. Conclusion: she probably should not. The hospice nurse will also examine her today to provide a second opinion. Argument over.

Point 2: If Val is still with us next week, should we consider an ERCP and stent change? Amy's opinion is that she wouldn't survive the procedure. She would have to be intubated and we would be right back where we were last Wednesday when we took her out of Cedars Critical Care. My opinion, the cancer has been held in check and we should give Val a chance to stay with us.

I think Amy is right. We ended our debate with this caveat. If Val's level of mental awareness returns and she chooses to go through another ERCP, we will go forward with it.

Yesterday was a good day for Val. She was up and about. Her mental awareness is improved. Julie and her mom hung out with her. Her friends Carrie and Brenda slept next to her on the couch. The catheter was removed and Val is having good bowel movements.

I heard a true story from Watchman Lee about a poor Chinese rice farmer. He was a christian. His paddy was high on a mountain in southern China. He rose at 5 am every morning and spent two hours pumping water up to his paddy. By time he climbed to the field, his neighbor below had opened the dam and drained the water into his own field. The next morning, the farmer rose at 3 am. He pumped his neighbor's paddy full and then his own. The neighbor saw Christ's servant spirit in this man and was converted to christianity.

I am so grateful for all of you who have displayed this servant spirit in ministering to Valerie's needs. You are following the example left by our Lord.

Paul described it best in his letter to the ancient church at Phillipi: "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus who did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but humbled Himself and became obedient unto death."

Prayer requests:

1. That Val's mental awareness continue to improve so she is able to participate any decision regarding future ERCP's.


2. That Val's stomach distension subside.


3. That stents in Val's liver begin to flow. Val's liver is failing.


4. That infections can be held at bay. We are running out of Cipro and must decide if it is appropriate to continue.

Godspeed Beloved

Val Is Regaining Her Strength

It is good to know that Val has been taken off of the crisis team from hospice this morning and she is regaining her strength. She has been taking antibiotics to fight her infection and there are "no" signs of fluid on her lungs. This is a good sign. In the words of the hospice nurse last night, she said that Val is not ready to go anywhere just yet! Those were the words that we wanted to hear. She was able to take a shower yesterday and today. Her color is better too today.

Val, as restless as she is, with a little help has gotten out of bed and walked down the hall. She is now standing in her kitchen by herself and drinking water. There is a computer at the desk in the corner of the kitchen and we just read to her many of the comments from the well wishers from around the country and she has a Big smile on her face. Her speech is better and she is more alert now than she was when she arrived from the hospital the other day. Being at home has really improved her health. We are hoping that her critical condition has changed for the better, but we are still not out of the woods just yet, but....there is still that glimmer of hope. Your prays must be working.

Thanks for all the support, food, flowers, posts, etc....Please keep praying and so will we.

Val and Chris have created some of the best friendships over the years and it is really showing in this time in need.

MANY THANKS!!!

The McCrea and Sloan family

The Invisible World

Many things we take for granted in our world are unseen. Talking on cell phones with no wire, flying in airplanes with nothing visible holding us up, connecting our computers to a wireless signal, turning on our TV with a remote.

After Jesus was raised from the dead and had been seen by some of His disciples, the Apostle Thomas said, "unless I put my hand into the spear wound in His side, I will not believe it is the Lord. Jesus came to him and insisted that he thrust his hand into the wound. Only then did Thomas make his confession of belief to the Lord. Jesus responded, "Thomas, you believe because you have seen. Blessed are those (us) who believe and have not seen.

The christian's faith opens the eyes so the unseen is seen. So the future is now. So the promises are true.

The Lord spoke to us through the prophet Jeremiah and said, "I know the plans I have for you, saith the Lord. Plans for good and not for evil. Plans for a future and a hope."

How can this be possible for our belove Valerie? Because, beloved, Val's future is now. We who love her so struggle in time and space as we watch her fight the good fight. But in God's eyes, Val's future is now.

The Lord spoke to us though King David in Psalm 139. "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Does this mean that the subject is already closed and it really doesn't matter how fervently we pray for Val to be delivered from this disease? Absolutely not. The prayers you pray for our dear Valerie tomorrow have already been heard and answered by God Most High. The number of days ordained for Val will be determined by them.

Beloved, many a soldier's life has been spared a bullet to his heart by the prayers of his mother offered weeks after the bullet was fired.

Pray on dear ones. Our God is listening.

I left Val at 5 this morning to go to work. She slept well. Mia, our excellent night nurse said she had a better night than the previous. Her vitals are good. She did require more short term morphine yesterday. We need to adjust the longer acting MS Contin to adjust. Val took a shower yesterday.

The best thing we can do is not to placate her and treat her with kid gloves like she is dying. We must also slow down to her level of communication and listen carefully. We must get her up and out. In the sunshine. Up to see tractor man. We must take the time necessary to help her eat an drink. We must continue the CIPRO crushed in applesauce.

Julie is coming tonight. Char is coming tomorrow.

Godspeed

A Special Request In Our Time Of Need

We understand that everyone would like to see Val in this trying time, but we ask that you please call first and try to keep visits to a minimum.

We especially appreciate all the prayers from well wishers these past several months and all the love and friendship that you have all shown. Words cannot express our deepest gratitude. Your love for Val has truly given us strength.

Chris is in need of his alone time with Val, and so does Ryan, Gavin and baby Tyler. Val's Mom and Dad need their time too. The boys and Chris will start counseling sessions tomorrow to help them hold the family together as we can only imagine that times will become even harder with each passing day. We hope that you understand in our time of need.

Also, it would be great to share with Val when she hears about the posts on the blog, the location of where your prayers are coming from across the country. (ie) Val Perschetti (Atlanta, GA)

The McCrea and Sloan Family

Worthy

The name Valerie, of Teutonic origin, means worthy. She is the joy of her father and the happiness of her mother (Proverbs 23:25). Val was named after the sister of Ken Scott, a college friend from Vermillion-on-the Lake, Ohio.

One of my fondest memories occurred when we were living on Revely Avenue in Lakewood, Ohio (where I was born). Val was two and was an escape artist extraordinaire! To keep her in her crib at night, I took the door off the bedroom and put it on top of the crib. When that didn't work, I put the toybox on top of the door.

One morning at 5 am, the doorbell rang. It was the milkman (for those of you who are confused, this was a man in a white suit and white truck who left quarts of milk in glass bottles with paper stoppers in a wire tray on your front door). He had the little Houdini in tow. She had escaped and made it halfway down the street.

Val slept well through the night. I have a monitor next to my bed and spent much time listening and watching a red LED that blinked every time she breathed. Her vitals are strong. She continues to defy the odds, but the Holy Spirit tells me that she is a resident of Beaulah Land and unless God Most High intervenes, she will soon cross the river to Heaven's bright shore.

Julie is driving down from San Luis Obispo tonight. Char is due in on Wednesday. Jeff and family go back to Alabama on Tuesday. Jeff has to report to the Korean Peninsula in June as an F16 Squadron Commander.

Continue to pray that God will blow us all away and heal Val. Pray specifically that her swollen feet and lower legs improve, and that liver function returns. She is alert and pain free.

High King of heaven, my victory won,

May I reach heaven’s shore, O bright heaven’s Sun!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Godspeed

PS:

San Diego Hospice set us up with a great bed on the 1st floor in the living room. Every morning a little bird comes to the window by Vals head and taps on the glass as if he was calling her to fly away with him.

Suzanne, our nurse checked Val this morning. Her feet are warmer and less purple than yesterday. a good sign that circulation is improved. Her lungs are clear. She is eating and drinking. Last Wednesday when she was intubated at Cedars, she couldn't write, only scribble. Today she is writing clearly.

Trevor Hoffman, the Padre's "Hells Bells" save pitcher, heard about Val's disease and offered his six seat personal box behind home base.